So. A topic that Richard inspired me to write about today is: "What Things Should You Not Share With Your Partner?" I think it is often implied that honesty is tantamount to intimacy. You and your loved one can only be as close as you are willing to truth tell. Well, I disagree. I think some things are better left unsaid. One of these things is: "Lindsay Lohan is the type of woman you would want to sleep with, but never date." This comment developed from a conversation Richard had with one of his co-workers. Actually, the person they were speaking about first was Tyra Banks. Then Lindsay just happened to appear on our television screen and she joined the dialogue. Now, I, of course, was disgusted because, in addition to Lindsay being so clearly troubled, she is also young enough to be Richard's daughter. Yuck! Why did he have to say that? It was such a turn off! I understand that men are visually stimulated by trashy ladies, or beautiful ladies, or sweet ladies, or just ladies, period, but I don't want know if Richard has a secret hankering for LiLO. Why? Why? Why?
Now, according to Web M.D., " Study after study illustrates that men's sex drives are not only stronger than women's, but much more straightforward." "Straightforward" means turned on by anything female with breasts! It could be female eggplant! (Unless, of course, the men in question are gay!) Web M.D also goes on to say that, "The sources of women's libidos, by contrast, are much more difficult to pin down." And later, "It's common wisdom that women place more value on emotional connection as a spark of sexual desire". This is exactly the reason my desire went down to nilch the moment Richard told me about The Linds. And please, do not think me prude. I was not grossed out by the fact that Richard is turned on by other women, it's just that this particular woman is SO disappointing. Why couldn't he be turned on by someone more classy? Like Oprah! Oh yeah, he is, I'm sure... As long as there are breasts involved!(Please note that I am aware that these are generalizations and do not believe that they apply to everyone!)
Outfit:
I pulled out this long forgotten gray heather-ed unitard from my drawer and added on from there. I have kept this unitard for exercise purposes, but it rarely gets used these days!
Unitard: Goodwill. Star Cody. A label that died long ago. One day I will wear this to a Jazzercise class with a headband! Ladies, don't let your unitards go to waste!
Iron Lung Shirt: I Heart Guts.
Skirt: Walmart. George. Purchased in my mom's tiny Massachusetts town!
Sweater: Hand me down from friend.
Shoes: Airwalk.
Posts
Layna: Don't be too disappointed by Richard's desire for the libidinous, coke addled, alcohol besotted, labia-sucking Lohan. He is just a man--they really don't evolve much further than their penis will let them. Men may have all of these other wonderful talents and qualities about them, but they are forever limited by their "little brain". You just be sure to have him promise to let you know if ever he indulges his Lohan fantasy, so that you can have him wash his penis in Clorox before you touch it again.
ReplyDeleteLove,
D
Thank You Aunt D! I am totally cracking up right now and you just totally made my day! I will go to bed with a BIG grin on my face! I love you!
ReplyDeleteMen! It's a good thing we can't read their minds! Topics or no, your blog's great! ; )
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing about this topic, it's something I've actually been thinking about a good deal lately and yes, I do think there are some things partners should keep from each other - who they want to sleep with on both sides is a good start - but really anything that is potentially hurtful but serves no greater purpose in mentioning it.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you're looking for topics your reads can probably help. I've thought of something clothing related that I'd love you to talk about, of course they aren't coming to mind right now but when I think of them I'll post.
OMG, two of seven hit it right on the nose. The only thing I want to add is that you may want to think twice about discussing who you would consider sleeping with without dating. Men don't usually let go of that information so easily. When Bobby and I discussed our fantasy partners in the past, I can honestly say that they were all the same age we were at the time and I was impressed with his choices. He had good taste and they were all beautiful women. Your topic was well written.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me I did not bring this up. It was him and his co-workers! Honestly, I don't think I would have cared if he had not said L.L.In the past, I've found his crushes to be tasteful, too! Thanks for the comments, mothers and sisters!
ReplyDeleteThat's me right above, by the way. I was on Richard's computer!
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