"Heresy is a controversial or novel change to a system of beliefs, especially a religion, that conflicts with established dogma...The founder or leader of a heretical movement is called a heresiarch, while individuals who espouse heresy are known as heretics. Heresiology is the study of heresy.
Etymology: The word "heresy" comes from the Greek hairetikos "able to choose" (haireisthai "to choose"). The term heresy is often perceived as a value judgment and the expression of a view from within an established belief system."
I am pronouncing myself a Hair-etic. Despite popular opinion, I believe that my children, with their wild and crazy locks, are fine. I don't feel the need to tame or control or style their hair. They are little kids, and they are fine. All yesterday, I kept looking at HaHa, and thinking she looked like a boy with her new fancy hairdo. I like her crazy curls just the way they are. And yes, they do get frizzy when she sleeps on them, or rubs her head against the car-seat, or puts food in her hair.
As for Charlie, he happens to have some of the thickest, most dense, hair I have ever seen. When it gets wet it glistens as if it had dew drops on it. If you pour a cup of water on his head, his scalp doesn't get wet. When he sleeps on his hair, it gets extra frizzy and dry. I have been looking for product to put in his hair in the mornings, but I haven't found the exact right thing yet. However, the reason why I keep Charlie's hair longer than some people care for, is because he likes it. He doesn't want me to cut it short, although the more people talk about it, the more I'm sure the more he will get self-conscious about it.
When I was out with my sister and the kids on Saturday night, she was surprised when a stranger complimented Charlie's hair. He gets a lot of compliments on his hair, actually. However, he also gets a lot of negative comments as well. I really don't understand why people are so concerned with the hair of my children. When they are older they can decide what they want to do with it. And, I do comb Charlie's hair, by the way. We'll see what happens after he turns seven tomorrow!
Outfit:
Print shirt: I got this in the Bronx a few years ago.
Striped shirt: Goodwill. Banana Republic.Pants: Goodwill. I.N.C.
Shoes: Capezio.
Posts
It's cute. Let your hair-atic flag fly.
ReplyDeleteAnd can you please tell Charlie to stop having birthdays. Please?
Word. Spoken like a true Mama Bear and very well-written <3
ReplyDelete"...my babies, their skin is gonna turn all kinds of shades in the sun and their hair a be growin every which a way, and it won't matter and they won't care 'cause they know they are so rare and so special..."
ReplyDelete- George C. Wolfe, The Colored Museum
I love that quote and I love those kids and their hair and Happy Birthday Char Char.
ReplyDeleteAt first I was not going to post a response, but oh well. My concern for the way Charlie's hair looks sometimes, is that I do not want him to be ridiculed, laughed at, or made fun of by kids or adults. I base my concern on my personal experience growing up in Pacoima as a child and seeing and hearing kids capped on by other kids because their hair look messed up or because they had "Bed in their Head". I know because he goes to Crossroads he has been insulated from that type of experience, but he does not live at Crossroads. A grandparents love is no different from a parents love in that we love our children and grandchildren unconditionally. Unconditionally does not preclude us from trying to protect them from being hurt, saddened, or made fun of. That is all I was trying to do. I will call Charlie later and wish him Happy Birthday.
ReplyDeletehi justine, i think your points are valid and i do understand your motivations as i've witnessed the same "cappin" growing up. it's real and some sensitive souls are often damaged for life because of it.
ReplyDeletei knew a girl in middle school who's mother never properly groomed her so she often showed up to school "ashy" and with her hair unkempt. needless to say, she was teased relentlessly and one of the nicknames that bothered her the most was "celie."
what ended up happening was another parent taught her how to comb her own hair (her mother never showed her) and what lotions worked best for her skin (she had really dry skin as well as some issues with excema). if memory serves me correctly, another parent confronted her mother and the girl's mother simply said she didn't have the time.
it would be nice to think we could live in a world without teasing, where everyone sings kumbaya but it isn't reality and teasing happens to everyone. some people stay emotionally tied to whatever some random kid said to them 85 years ago, some personalities use it as fuel to become, i dunno'...bill gates. lol.
obviously we're all different, some of us get off on grooming, some people could care less; that can be said for just about any aspect of whatever we do in our personal lives. i think the "offense" comes in the presentation.
as an outsider to all of this, i definitely understand your perspective and can empathize with you're upbringing as well as your daughter's. i do hope this post simply leads to mutual respect with everyone singing kumbaya over charlie's birthday cake :)
Sounds good to me. I wish I could be there.Give him a big hug and kiss for me.
ReplyDeleteThanks y'all for the comments! We'll see what develops over the next few years. Hopefully, my kids won't be scarred, and they will be happy with their hair!!!
ReplyDelete